6 Lip Glosses for Grown Ups

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I don’t think I am alone in the fact the mere mention of “lip gloss” evokes memories of Lip Smacker’s Rolly roll-on lip glosses, Lancome’s Juicy Tubes, N.Y.C’s Glossy Shine & Flavor roll-ons (the 90’s and early 2000’s were a big time for roll ons) and other various versions of the same thing – a slippery, sticky, gooey, deliciously sweet gloss that stuck to our hair, vanished mere minutes after applying, and left behind lips that were both dry yet somehow also still a bit sticky. We maybe graduated at some point to a MAC Lip Glass or a even a sparkly Chanel number, but until recently, lip glosses were still for the most part thought of as the annoying cousin of lipstick. Sure, she was cute and all, but, like, what was the actual point of her? Well, friends, color me converted because lip gloss has grown up. She doesn’t shop at Limited*Too anymore, she has a healthy self-care schedule, thinks a full face beat is overrated, and doesn’t compare herself to lipstick, instead thinks they are both great and worthy of people’s time. Below, a list of six lip glosses for grown ups.


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Glossier Lip Gloss

$14 USD /$17 CAD

The new O.G. Glossier’s version of lip gloss is developing a cult following. I myself only purchased it after someone raved about how hydrating it was. Hydrating? A lip gloss? Are you sure? Positive. And the shiiiiiine. The shine is almost inappropriate. I almost never tell anyone they “need” a product, but if you’re looking for a lip gloss, you need this one.  She’s the do it all: everyday gloss, dress up gloss, topper to lipstick gloss, the I-don’t-need-chapstick-anymore gloss.


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Pat McGrath Lust Gloss

$28 USD/$36 CAD

Pat is not one to shy away from color or sparkle, and why should she? Her Lust Gloss is high shine, high color, high glitter, high impact. My favorite shade is Flesh Fantasy, a rosy/mauve nude shine with no glitter. It’s the perfect my lips-but-better shade and make my lips look sexy AF. Lust Gloss is like if the lip gloss of our childhood grew up, and decided her own femininity and curves are the sexiest thing on earth. She still smells like vanilla, though. But a grown up vanilla.


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Dior Addict Lip Maximizer

$34 USD / $42 CAD

A recent launch, this gloss is probably my most reached for of the moment. Packed with one of my favorite ingredients, hyaluronic acid, it’s another gloss which leaves my lips feeling hydrated long after the initial high shine has worn off my lips. That being said, the gloss itself is much longer lasting than those from my childhood. I bought the shade 013-Beige and she is understated, elegant, and chic. She’s the girl who has a wardrobe so well curated you think she just has to be a French aristocrat. She probably is.


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Kylie Cosmetics High Gloss

$16 USD / $21 CAD

This may be the closest to the glosses of our youth. She’s a gen-z not a millennial. But she’s still significantly cooler than I was when I was her age. I bought 3 shades of High Gloss, Klear, Daddy’s Girl, and Diva. All good, but Daddy’s Girl was the one to surprise me the most. When it pulled it from it’s box I actually questioned myself – “Did I order this? Why? Its SO sparkly!” (I like the idea of sparkly lip gloss but rarely the execution). Deceptively sparkly in the tube, it’s actually a soft and subtle sparkle on the lips. I think the name is what throws me the most – this gloss is not a little girl in a sparkly tutu, she’s a grown woman going out for drinks then dancing with her girls - a strictly friends-having-fun night out, no meeting potential love interests night out, to be clear. She does also smell like vanilla though. Some things never change.


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Fenty BEAUTY UNIVERSAL GLOSS BOMB IN FU$$Y

$18 USD / $23 CAD

If Kylie is the gen-z Fenty is the millennial, just a touch older, but the same spirit of female power and appreciation. Her Gloss Bomb in Fussy is one of three available shades. It’s pink, it’s shimmery, it does NOT smell like vanilla, and it has the fattest doe foot applicator of them all. She is completely unapologetic in her confidence, and she looks good on everyone. Throw her in your bag and you’ll reach for her endlessly, she’s your new best friend. She’s undeniably gorgeous with an unexpected edge. The ultimate it-girl who has mastered the art of balance, she displays perfectly manicured claws and uses them to teach you how to roll a blunt.


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Hourglass N°28 Lip Oil

$49 USD/$60 CAD

The most sophisticated and elegant of them all, N°28 is our Madame, our Dame, our icon. Every morning I bless my lips with this treatment and almost everyday walk out of the house without putting on another lip product because my lips look and feel so f*cking good. Wise, soulful and technically not a lip gloss, but we won’t dwell on technicalities. Invite her over for tea, spend the day learning about art, music, and literature and end the night with touching your still hydrated lips to a glass of brandy. Oh, did I forget to mention she just came out with a new wardrobe of colored lip oil options? Iconic.